~~Reflecting on Year One~~
It has been eight years now since my beloved husband passed away. I’ve been thinking about those early days of grief a lot lately, wondering how I ever made it through that horrific time. A lot of things had to be taken care of right away, like canceling his credit cards, dealing with accounts, utilities, cable TV, etc. (almost everything had been just in his name). It was a nightmare. At night I would lie in bed, crying, wailing, sobbing…with physical pain…as if someone twisted around my insides and squeezed and crushed my heart.
Each morning I had to force myself to get out of bed and do something. My goal in those early days was to get one thing accomplished and crossed off my list every day. One phone call or one form filled out or one trip to the bank. So if I got up, got dressed, managed to eat something, and got one issue taken care of, that was a great accomplishment.
And some days I couldn’t do anything. But I guess that’s okay too.
One thing at a time. I use that when I’m doing my volunteer crisis counseling and the texter is not feeling motivated.
I say that also, do one thing a small thing anything. Wash your hair, brush your teeth, make a call, etc. Write what you did on a post-it note and put that note in a drawer. Next day do another. In a week or two look in the drawer and see all you’ve done. It is like a quilt of motivation that will embrace you.
Hi Mark, I love the idea of the post-it notes! That’s brilliant!
I lost my husband on Dec 23rd. A very brief illness and two weeks of hospice at home, and then he was gone. I stumbled upon your blog when looking for inspirational quotes on Pinterest. I am so glad that I found you. I am experiencing grief in a lot of the same ways that you did. And you have made it and I know I can too. Doesn’t make it easier, but it is a light at the end of a long, dark tunnel that I am only at the beginning of. So thank you for this.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I am glad and humbled that my blog is providing some comfort and hope to you. Sending lots of hugs your way,
Daisy