Widowhood can get so lonely. I miss having someone around, someone to talk to. My attempts at dating have all failed and, at least for right now, I’m done with that. But I do have a new companion, a four-legged one!
You may know from my post in January that I’d been thinking about getting a dog for a while now. Well, I found a sweet little dog at a shelter at the end of April. No one seemed to want little Ellie even though small dogs (especially hypoallergenic ones) usually get adopted super fast. Several people had looked at her before I did but then decided against adopting her. I can’t blame them. I almost didn’t adopt her either. You see, she comes from a hoarding situation. She’s not like a “normal” dog at all. She’s terrified of everything, especially people. When I first got her, I couldn’t touch her at all. Couldn’t go near her without her freaking out. She was so scared and pitiful.
She’s still very fearful but has made a lot of progress. She’s slowly beginning to trust me more and has started coming out of her shell. Being touched is still something she has huge issues with, and it’s going to take a long time and work to get where we need to be. The poor thing. I wonder what life was like for her in that hoarding situation. She’s definitely not used to being around people.
It is hard work, time-consuming and often frustrating. Progress has been slow and she has such a long way to go. Training is tedious, with lots of repetitions, lots of treats and only tiny baby steps forward. I have to be extremely careful not to push her too much when she’s not ready.
I can’t rush things. It’s Ellie’s journey and she gets to set the pace. It will take lots of time and patience. It reminds me of my own journey—my slow and often frustrating grief journey. Perhaps that’s why I was so drawn to her despite all her problems. She’s broken, scared and lost and trying to adjust to a very different world (although a much better one for her). Like me, she has to learn to navigate this new life, one step at a time. I’m confident that she’ll eventually be okay, although she may never be a completely “normal” dog. No matter how hard you try, some scars will never fully heal.