In my last blog post, Lean Into Your Grief and Loss, I talked about consciously allowing and acknowledging your thoughts and emotions, whatever they may be at that moment. Healing takes work, not just time, and we must go through grief, not around it. Exploring and expressing our grief helps us process our loss.
Ways to Express Your Grief
Visiting the grave can be a way to express our grief. It lets us be “close” to the one we lost, talk to him or her and release some of our sorrow. The process of choosing things like flowers, angel figurines, flags, solar lights, candles, windchimes etc. to decorate the grave (if allowed) can bring some comfort. To me personally, making DIY floral arrangements for my husband’s grave has been very therapeutic. It’s a way to still show my love and “do something” for him. It’s a labor of love and a time to think, reflect and remember. As weird as it may sound, just going to the grave and spending a few minutes cleaning the leaves and dirt off the marker and granite seems to have a healing effect on me.
Creating a memory garden: Some people plant a tree or grow a flower garden in memory of their loved one. Whether big and elaborate or on a very small scale with only a couple of plants, you can incorporate your loved one’s favorite colors or other meaningful features. A memory garden is a wonderful idea because each time you come back to tend to it, you also tend to your grief.
Keeping a diary, or grief journal, is a great way to process your thoughts and feelings. Even just writing one or two sentences each evening about how your day was can be so helpful. It’s also a wonderful tool to see how far you’ve come on your healing journey as you reread earlier journal entries.
Making a memory quilt from clothing (or have someone make it for you) is another great idea to express your grief and remember your loved one. Even if you can’t sew the quilt yourself, you still participate in the process by selecting the items of clothing and the design. Unfortunately having a memory quilt made is quite expensive, but perhaps a lap quilt or a smaller wall hanging might be an option.
Fill a memorial keepsake box, or memorial shadow box display case, with mementos of your loved one. Many different options and designs are available, from plain wooden boxes to memory boxes featuring poems, engravings, photos, etc. Or you could buy a simple box from the crafts store and decorate it yourself. A shadow box is a wonderful way to display mementos such as photos, a favorite T-shirt, eye glasses, hat, favorite book, etc. of a deceased loved one. If your loved one has served in the military, special shadow box display cases are available to display the flag and/or medals, ribbons, badges, etc. These kind of projects not only let us honor the special person we lost but also help us process our emotions and grief as we gather and arrange the items.
Grief Outlets Can Help Us Process and Cope with Our Loss
Other ways to explore and express your grief might be through social media, grief support groups, photography, painting, blogging, mourning jewelry, crafts, compiling a special photo album, writing, volunteer work and so on.
Having some kind of grief outlet can really help us lean into and process our grief and move forward on the road to healing, one step at a time.