Can you actually die from a broken heart? If someone had asked me that question prior to my husband’s illness and death, I probably would have been skeptical. As a widow, I am absolutely convinced it’s possible.
The effects of grief on the body can be enormous. I experienced physical pain, weakness, extreme fatigue, trouble sleeping, forgetfulness, inability to concentrate and loss of appetite and even sense of taste. At night, I would cry myself to sleep. I cried and sobbed so hard that it shook my whole body. I felt intense pain, as if someone twisted a knife around inside my gut. Often my heart also literally ached. I remembered hearing about broken heart syndrome before and then I knew… This is real… Yes, you can die from a broken heart. At times, I thought I would.
I was very weak the first couple of months and had lost a lot of weight. (The weight loss and loss of appetite actually started while he was still alive and in the hospital and then in hospice.) Sometimes, when visiting his grave, I felt so weak, and so light, that I thought I might just float up to heaven to be with him. I remember walking like an old frail woman (I was in my early forties then) from the grave back to my car each time.
It’s frightening what grief can do to your body, not to mention your soul. It takes a long time to recover. But time alone won’t heal those wounds, you have to deal with your grief and work through it. Now I feel stronger than I ever did. More confident, resilient and assertive. More ready to tackle life’s challenges—because once you’ve made it through that kind of hell, all the other crap life throws at you will likely pale in comparison.