At some point after your spouse passes away, you wonder what to do about your wedding ring. Should you keep wearing it? Should you take it off?
At first, I couldn’t bear even the thought of taking off my wedding band, anniversary ring and engagement ring. But after a while, it began to not feel right anymore. In my mind, I was still married and still loved my husband—and always will. But I was a widow now. My husband was gone. Gone forever.
I finally took off my wedding band on the first sadiversary and began wearing my engagement ring and anniversary ring on my right hand.
Only about two months later, that didn’t feel right anymore either. So I bought a simple black enamel ring and wore it in front of my engagement and anniversary ring as a mourning ring or “third ring.”
Finally, on the second sadiversary I took all of my rings off.
Widowhood is a strange world. A world in which you stumble around, disoriented, trying to find your way. A balancing act of letting go of the past and moving forward while forever keeping the memories in your heart.
I have taken my rings off and then on and then off again. Then one day I looked at it and remember the day he upgraded with a new ring. We were together at the mall. In fact it was our last time at the Mall. So, it reminds me of that day. It’s been 4 years and we were married 45. I feel I deserve to wear my ring with pride and still honored to be his wife.
Hi Ronda, thanks for writing and sharing what you did with your rings. Yes, you absolutely deserve to wear your beautiful ring with pride! I think that’s wonderful.
Funny. I just found your blog yesterday. This morning I discussed this topic with a widower (we lost our spouses 4 months apart last year). We had different ‘ring’ experiences, and coincidentally I find your post today, my first Thanksgiving as a widow, on ring dilemna.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sure today was an especially difficult day for you, the first Thanksgiving as a widow. The holidays are so tough after loss. Thanks so much for writing. Sending lots of hugs your way.