To those who have lost someone, I’m so sorry for your loss. Grief and loss can be extremely debilitating, often changing the survivor’s life completely. And, as if the gut-wrenching grief and sadness wasn’t enough, many times the death also affects finances, housing, friends, and so much more.
In a way, you could say that it’s not just the deceased person’s life that’s gone, but part of the survivor’s life is too. After loss, nothing is the same. Perhaps your lives were so intertwined that you were like one unit. Maybe you were so in tune with each other that you knew exactly what the other was thinking, or needed, or wanted, and now you feel like half of you is gone. If you were a couple, it’s quite likely that each of you would have taken over different chores, according to your aptitudes and interests. And now that your person is gone, you’re left to struggle with those tasks. Maybe the loss also meant losing a major portion of income, causing financial difficulties. There are so many other consequences of loss in addition to the awful pain and sadness.
Before I lost my husband, I never ever could have imagined the kind of raw pain, despair, sadness and heartache I felt. My heart literally did hurt a lot of times. I missed him so much and didn’t know how to go on without him. It was as if I had fallen into a deep black hole of sadness.
Then came the financial worries, and worries about not being able to do certain things that had been his tasks, like home repairs and so on. And there was a lot of stuff I now had to take care of right away, like dealing with banks, credit cards, loans, his 401(k) etc. I felt so incapable and overwhelmed.
The early days of grief are so indescribably tough, cruel, and unbearable. If you are going through this right now, please be kind to yourself. Be patient and don’t expect too much of yourself. It will take time for you to get your bearings in this new life after loss. The best advice I got back then was to take it one day at a time, or one hour at a time, or one minute at a time.
I hope this video will be of some help to you. (To see all of my grief videos, click here or go to my YouTube channel.)
Be sure to also check out these helpful Resources for Dealing With Grief.
Wishing you hope, light and healing,
Daisy