Just So Tired

Why am I so tired all the time? I seem to get less and less accomplished. I just don’t have the energy or motivation to do much.

This has been going on for quite a while now, but sometimes I feel like it’s getting worse. There are days when I’m already tired at lunch time, just a few hours after having gotten up. I’ve been having issues with low iron, but my iron levels at my most recent checkup were in the normal range (I have to take an iron supplement daily). And I take vitamins too. Am I just lazy?

I’m not depressed or sad. Although my grief will never be completely gone, I’m pretty happy right now. I used to be extremely fatigued in the early stages of my grief, but that was a long time ago.

I wonder what’s causing this constant tiredness. I had so much energy when I was younger. Well, perhaps that’s it, maybe I’ve just gotten old. I don’t know.

Thanksgiving about a week ago was really nice but left me exhausted. To keep the stress and chaos to a minimum, I did most of the prep work the day before. But even with that and with my adult children helping to cook, it still wore me out.

Somehow this has got to get better. I feel so lazy and useless. I wish I had more drive and energy. But right now, I’m struggling. I really don’t like being this way. I used to be the kind of person that can never sit down for long. These days I could sit on the couch for hours, reading or just goofing off online. It doesn’t help that I can’t be out gardening all that much with the weather being colder. Gardening and taking care of my plants are pretty much the only thing I’m motivated to do these days. It’s actually become a bit of an obsession. And yes, I just ordered yet another grow light to try to grow things inside over the winter.

So I guess I’m not completely unmotivated and lazy, but this motivation and drive is very limited. And so, my friends, that’s all for now. I’m just too dang tired…