~~Reflecting on Year One~~
When I was newly widowed, I desperately wanted my husband to appear in my dreams. I was so alone and missed him so much. I longed for a touch or a hug from him. And I needed his guidance and advice on the many problems I now faced after losing him. I felt incredibly lonely and lost.
We were so close and had such immense love for each other. Sure, we had issues here and there during the last few years before he passed, but who doesn’t? He was my everything. After he died, I was certain that he would appear in my dreams a lot, especially since we had such a strong bond and great love for one another.
I really wanted him to visit me in my dreams. Every night, I cried myself to sleep and hoped that I would feel his comforting presence or hear his voice. But there was nothing. I was so disappointed.
He didn’t appear and I couldn’t understand why. After all, our love was so strong, he was supposed to come visit me and still be with me. Boy, did I feel abandoned!
He eventually did, but I can count on one hand the number of times he actually appeared in my dreams. Though it only happened a few times, it was so comforting to feel him, hear his voice and be with him, and I will always treasure those dreams.
So what does it mean if your deceased spouse visits you in your dreams? Is it really happening? Or is it just the griever’s way of processing the loss?
Personally, I think it might be both. To me, these visits felt so real (I could literally feel him!) that I’m convinced that he was actually there, at least on two of these occasions. I wish there had been more.
What is your experience? Does your dead spouse appear in your dreams?
Normally Mark does not appear in my dreams and I’m not sure why. But he did crop up:
https://cannarymom.blogspot.com/2024/06/dream-feelings-9.html
Usually, I am dreaming about the things that I was basically left to deal with. So I guess the ghost of Mark is always there, as he is missing from my day to day handling of things. I fight resentment towards him for leaving me in this predicament. I think good and bad feelings can live together in my memory of him.
That is a very interesting dream, and quite intense! I wonder what it all means. I too struggled with resentment sometimes, feeling overwhelmed and inadequate to deal with tasks he used to take care of. I love how you say that good and bad feelings can live together, I think that is important to acknowledge, and you said it so beautifully! Thank you so much for sharing!