~~Reflecting on Year One~~
When I was newly widowed, I desperately wanted my husband to appear in my dreams. I was so alone and missed him so much. I longed for a touch or a hug from him. And I needed his guidance and advice on the many problems I now faced after losing him. I felt incredibly lonely and lost.
We were so close and had such immense love for each other. Sure, we had issues here and there during the last few years before he passed, but who doesn’t? He was my everything. After he died, I was certain that he would appear in my dreams a lot, especially since we had such a strong bond and great love for one another.
I really wanted him to visit me in my dreams. Every night, I cried myself to sleep and hoped that I would feel his comforting presence or hear his voice. But there was nothing. I was so disappointed.
He didn’t appear and I couldn’t understand why. After all, our love was so strong, he was supposed to come visit me and still be with me. Boy, did I feel abandoned!
He eventually did, but I can count on one hand the number of times he actually appeared in my dreams. Though it only happened a few times, it was so comforting to feel him, hear his voice and be with him, and I will always treasure those dreams.
So what does it mean if your deceased spouse visits you in your dreams? Is it really happening? Or is it just the griever’s way of processing the loss?
Personally, I think it might be both. To me, these visits felt so real (I could literally feel him!) that I’m convinced that he was actually there, at least on two of these occasions. I wish there had been more.
What is your experience? Does your dead spouse appear in your dreams?
Normally Mark does not appear in my dreams and I’m not sure why. But he did crop up:
https://cannarymom.blogspot.com/2024/06/dream-feelings-9.html
Usually, I am dreaming about the things that I was basically left to deal with. So I guess the ghost of Mark is always there, as he is missing from my day to day handling of things. I fight resentment towards him for leaving me in this predicament. I think good and bad feelings can live together in my memory of him.
That is a very interesting dream, and quite intense! I wonder what it all means. I too struggled with resentment sometimes, feeling overwhelmed and inadequate to deal with tasks he used to take care of. I love how you say that good and bad feelings can live together, I think that is important to acknowledge, and you said it so beautifully! Thank you so much for sharing!
It has been 4.5 months since the accident. I’ve had dreams. There were two times specifically where it felt like a visit; I could actually feel him. It was right after everything happened, he appeared in front of me, and I began to just cry, he chuckled, hugging me, saying “what’s wrong babe, why are you crying?” I just told him I just miss you so much, he told me it was okay, and I woke up with weird chills, and just saying Thank you! And fell back asleep. Another time I could feel him laying his cheek on mine while I played with his hair, telling him I miss you. I woke up the same way with chills. I have had other dreams where he is there, or most dreams are trying to change the sequence of events from that day or I am trying to get things ready cause he’s coming home, and it’s weird even in my dream I remind myself he’s gone what are you doing, but I am still trying to fix everything for when he gets back.
I’m so sorry for your loss and all that you’re going through. To have the chance to feel and be with your person one more time, if only in a dream, is so precious. I hope your loved one’s visits were of some comfort to you in your immense grief. Perhaps they’re trying to tell us that they’ll always be with us. Thank you so much for sharing.
Lots of hugs,
Daisy
The dreams help me almost forget that this happened till I wake up, and for a bit it’s like I can feel better, that I was just with him. And the reality comes back. But the dreams are comforting. I miss my person, and I just wish he were here. Not a fan of this life without him.