Well, I’m giving dating as a widow another try. Yeah, I know, I know… After my ex-boyfriend and I broke up over a year ago, I swore I would never do this dating thing again. Well, what can I say, it gets lonely. So here we go again.
Although online dating is so frustrating and downright infuriating sometimes, I still think it’s a good option because it’s just so hard to meet new people in real life. And lets face it, when you’re middle-aged, the pool of eligible potential partners is pretty limited. So I signed up again. Sigh… There are some crazy people out there and you have to be careful for sure. Lots of jerks. But I finally found someone with whom I feel I could have a relationship. It’s still in the early stages and we’re still getting to know each other but I believe the potential is there. So I’m hopeful.
Lessons From My Failed Relationship
Sometimes I get so mad when I think about the failed relationship with this ex-boyfriend because I wasted four years of my life with him. We had met almost 3 years after my husband died. We were very compatible in many ways. But I should have listened to that very quiet voice inside me that sometimes whispered little warnings about certain issues with him. But love is blind, and I ignored that occasional nagging feeling.
Even though that relationship didn’t work out and ended up being a great disappointment, I have to remind myself that those four years weren’t a complete waste of time. I was quite happy for a while and life was good. And I’ve learned a lot. I made mistakes that I won’t repeat ever again. I’ll now always keep in mind that actions speak louder than words. Unless the person follows through, none of the eloquent sweet words and promises are worth a darn. And I’ve learned not to continue a relationship just because you’ve already invested a lot of time in it and don’t want to throw that away. Listen to your gut. Ask yourself what you would advise your best friend if she/he were in your situation. Because we deserve better and we have to remember that.
The most important lesson though is that, yes, it is possible to love again after losing your spouse. The human heart has a great capacity for love. There is ample space for more than one love to live within it, side by side, without the need to compete. We have a chance to find happiness with someone again if that is what we choose. So I am ready to take another chance on this new relationship. And even if things don’t work out between us, I’ll always be able to treasure the happy times we shared.