~~Reflecting on Year One~~
When I was newly widowed, I desperately wanted my husband to appear in my dreams. I was so alone and missed him so much. I longed for a touch or a hug from him. And I needed his guidance and advice on the many problems I now faced after losing him. I felt incredibly lonely and lost.
We were so close and had such immense love for each other. Sure, we had issues here and there during the last few years before he passed, but who doesn’t? He was my everything. After he died, I was certain that he would appear in my dreams a lot, especially since we had such a strong bond and great love for one another.
I really wanted him to visit me in my dreams. Every night, I cried myself to sleep and hoped that I would feel his comforting presence or hear his voice. But there was nothing. I was so disappointed.
He didn’t appear and I couldn’t understand why. After all, our love was so strong, he was supposed to come visit me and still be with me. Boy, did I feel abandoned!
He eventually did, but I can count on one hand the number of times he actually appeared in my dreams. Though it only happened a few times, it was so comforting to feel him, hear his voice and be with him, and I will always treasure those dreams.
So what does it mean if your deceased spouse visits you in your dreams? Is it really happening? Or is it just the griever’s way of processing the loss?
Personally, I think it might be both. To me, these visits felt so real (I could literally feel him!) that I’m convinced that he was actually there, at least on two of these occasions. I wish there had been more.
What is your experience? Does your dead spouse appear in your dreams?
Normally Mark does not appear in my dreams and I’m not sure why. But he did crop up:
https://cannarymom.blogspot.com/2024/06/dream-feelings-9.html
Usually, I am dreaming about the things that I was basically left to deal with. So I guess the ghost of Mark is always there, as he is missing from my day to day handling of things. I fight resentment towards him for leaving me in this predicament. I think good and bad feelings can live together in my memory of him.
That is a very interesting dream, and quite intense! I wonder what it all means. I too struggled with resentment sometimes, feeling overwhelmed and inadequate to deal with tasks he used to take care of. I love how you say that good and bad feelings can live together, I think that is important to acknowledge, and you said it so beautifully! Thank you so much for sharing!
It has been 4.5 months since the accident. I’ve had dreams. There were two times specifically where it felt like a visit; I could actually feel him. It was right after everything happened, he appeared in front of me, and I began to just cry, he chuckled, hugging me, saying “what’s wrong babe, why are you crying?” I just told him I just miss you so much, he told me it was okay, and I woke up with weird chills, and just saying Thank you! And fell back asleep. Another time I could feel him laying his cheek on mine while I played with his hair, telling him I miss you. I woke up the same way with chills. I have had other dreams where he is there, or most dreams are trying to change the sequence of events from that day or I am trying to get things ready cause he’s coming home, and it’s weird even in my dream I remind myself he’s gone what are you doing, but I am still trying to fix everything for when he gets back.
I’m so sorry for your loss and all that you’re going through. To have the chance to feel and be with your person one more time, if only in a dream, is so precious. I hope your loved one’s visits were of some comfort to you in your immense grief. Perhaps they’re trying to tell us that they’ll always be with us. Thank you so much for sharing.
Lots of hugs,
Daisy
The dreams help me almost forget that this happened till I wake up, and for a bit it’s like I can feel better, that I was just with him. And the reality comes back. But the dreams are comforting. I miss my person, and I just wish he were here. Not a fan of this life without him.
Tomorrow will be 2 months since loosing my husband. I’ve dreamt of him more nights than not. That is, after about 2 weeks of not sleeping at night at all. I still only sleep about 4-5 hours. Waking up at least twice a night.We were married 32 years. I was 16 when we started dating. We married when I was 19, he was a few years older, and I was leaving for college. Ultimately, I left home married so I’ve never lived adult life without him. He suffered with an autoimmune disease that was wreaking havoc on his skeletal system the last 15 years. The last few years he developed inflammatory bowel. Otherwise, all other systems checked out fine with annual physicals, so his death was a shock. He had a heart attack, collapsed in my arms, we fell to the ground and he died instantly.
My dreams are us living every day life. Running errands together. Doing things with our daughters. Only one dream I was aware of his presence, but knew he was really gone. We were hanging out with friends from our younger days. Everyone was talking and laughing, I suddenly stopped and stared at him. Even though the dream was in a time frame of youth, I still had the realization he was gone. I grabbed him and hugged him; a strong, long hug. When he hugged me back, it felt so real it woke me!
As much as I want him back, I dread going to sleep and dreaming just to wake up with reality. Hence, I’m online finding your page and writing this at 3am.
Thank you for having this site to help us all struggling with life as a widow.
I’m so sorry for your loss. This must be such a difficult time for you. Thank you for sharing. I love to hear everyone’s story, get to know you a bit and hear your thoughts and experiences. It’s interesting that your husband appears a lot in your dreams. I hope you start sleeping better soon and get more hours of sleep. You must be so exhausted. It’s good to know that my website is helping you some with your grief and life as a widow.
I lost my wife just over 18 months ago. She suffered a sudden cardiac arrest in bed next to me. Her head was on my shoulder and I was stroking her hair. We had both been married before and were true soulmates. She was the love of my life. We had been together for 25 years and married for 17. I miss her every day and I still dream of her and wake up at 2am, the moment she went. All my memories are happy ones but I dreamt recently that she came into our bedroom, slid into bed beside me and started crying. Can you help me understand what it means?
I’m so sorry for your loss. That’s an interesting dream you had. I don’t really know what it means. Perhaps she misses you a lot too, or maybe her crying reflects your own sadness and you’re still processing everything. Or could there perhaps be some issues that weren’t resolved and are quietly gnawing at you? Something you wish you would’ve/could’ve done/said, etc.? Maybe it means nothing at all, but either way it’s good to examine your feelings and work through anything that might come up, like guilt, regret, etc.
Wishing you hope, light and healing,
Daisy