Is Halloween Offensive to Grievers?
It’s almost Halloween again. I’ve never really been a fan of Halloween and all the scary and weird stuff that comes with it. No, I’d rather not have giant spiders, skeletons, ghosts and gravestones decorating my yard. While lots of people enjoy it, it’s just not for me. Looking at the decorations around my neighborhood, I was reminded of how painful and offensive Halloween was for me when I was newly widowed.
My first Halloween after my husband died, I was still so devasted and lost. Every day was a struggle to somehow make it through the day without completely falling apart. Having to look at Halloween decorations—skeletons and gravestones especially—was tough and felt kind of insulting to me. How could these people think it’s funny to turn their yard into a cemetery, have skeleton hands sticking out of the ground when I had to bury my beloved husband less than a year ago! Not funny at all! To be honest, I was offended, mad and upset about it all back then. Even worse was seeing “funny” scenes and jokes about death and dying on TV as part of the Halloween entertainment. Death is not funny.
These days it doesn’t bother me (much). I’m still not a fan of Halloween, although of course it’s fun for kids to dress up and go trick or treating. In fact, we had a little get-together with some themed activities for the grandchild a few days ago. It was nice but—like pretty much all holidays—I’ll be glad when Halloween is over.
What about you? Comment below and let me know your thoughts about Halloween and grief.
My husband died four months ago. My grief is still raw and overcomes me unexpectedly at the most random moments. I have not been bothered by the Halloween decorations you mentioned. My husband was the one who gave out the Halloween candy each year. He would sit in a lawn chair at the end of our driveway with our golden retriever and greet all the neighborhood children. I was usually tired from the day as an elementary school teacher and dealing with a hyped up class of students. I don’t care about the decorations. What I am going to miss is watching my husband meet and treat all the little monsters and princesses in the neighborhood.
I’m so sorry for your loss and all that you’re going through, having lost your husband only four months ago. I’m glad that at least the Halloween decorations don’t bother you and that you have such wonderful memories of him on trick or treat night. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and thoughts about Halloween after loss. Sending lots of hugs your way,
Daisy
Never thought of Halloween this way. Reading this now , it scares me a little. I’m not widowed but recently lost my beloved sister. I can see now how a play on death can be offensive. Came up on your blog while looking for silk flower arrangements. I’m sorry for your loss Daisy and Peggy.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Hopefully Halloween won’t affect you the way it affected me. Everyone is different and I’m sure there a lots of grievers that are not bothered by it. I’m glad you found my blog and I hope it is helpful to you in your grief.
Lots of hugs,
Daisy